Fruitless PR and other puns

Welcome to Dr Mumbo’s new series: Press releases that make you want to kill yourself. Here’s today’s choice:

KYLE, DENI, BRYNNE, MIRANDA, CATE, RACHAEL AND RYAN HONOURED IN CON-TENTIOUS NEW “AUSTRALIA DAY” AWARDS

Kyle Sandilands’ nasty spat with a newspaper journalist, Deni Hines’ villainous performance on Celebrity Apprentice, Brynne Edelsten’s penchant for going full blast in the spray tan booth and Miranda Kerr’s bottom baring on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar have all been honoured in a con-tentious new awards program led by Con The Fruiterer, the iconic retailer of the legendary comedy series The Comedy Company.

True Blood’ star Ryan Kwanten, Red Dog’s Rachael Taylor and all-round achiever Cate Blanchett were also singled out as winners in Con’s first annual Australia “Summer Stonefruit” Day Awards on January 25th, a mouth-watering, rib-tickling alternative to the official Australia Day Awards and a commemoration of Con’s special day of appreciation for the country’s dribbilicious peaches, nectarines, plums and apricots, all at their peak right now.

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