An open letter to management: Being OK starts with culture
PHD’s Chloe Hooper has had a hard start to R U OK day. Here, she reflects on how company culture can empower staff to take the mental health day they need.
It’s 8.46am on the morning of R U OK day, and I’ve already spoken to three people with mental health issues. First, the morning phone call from my mum, who hasn’t left the house for ten months due to deep depression and bipolar, second, a call from my partner, who has suffered from anxiety his whole life, and thirdly, popping upstairs to check on my housemate, who has been off sick the last two days with mental health issues.
It was this third conversation that I found most disturbing. I looked into her eyes, and could tell she wasn’t ready to go back to work today. I insisted that the best thing she could do was take another day to look after her mental wellbeing. I knew if I were feeling as terrible as she was there is no way I would be expected to go to work. She replied, “it’s fine for you Chloe, you can do that, I have to go in.”
“Make sure you are looking after yourself, as by doing that, you are setting an example to everyone around you”
Good on you Chloe! You go girl. Its high time this industry talked about this subject. Strongest of us humans are vulnerable to mental issues. Unfortunately, some companies and people still don’t think its important. Love you heaps. Big Hug from me.
Well done Chloe. So proud of you for writing this article. Honest and brave.
Great work Chloe. Love your authenticity and honesty. we spend so much time at work, its in a businesses best interest to build a culture where people can feel genuinely supported and have the freedom to be vulnerable.
Or you have an employer that puts up the ‘R U OK?’ signs everywhere, but is often the person contributing to the stress and/or mental health issues in the workplace. Its a bit hard to say ‘im depressed because you give me no shifts and i am broke and when i am at work i get treated like my work is never good enough’
It’s a bit like a motivational poster in a boardroom, which says ‘teamwork’ or ‘collaboration’, when the processes in the company do not incentivise either, at all…
Respect plays a big part. If everyone truly respects each other a culture can blossom and work will get done ANNND – people will look out for each other.
Title says it all. If management is saying “Are you ok? Good now I’ve ticked that off can I have you stay for an unhealthy amount of unpaid overtime?” Then its not a worthwhile activity.
What confused me sometimes is that pretty much every study shows more hours = less productivity. So stressing out your staff is all negative/no winners. Yet its common. Weird.
This ^ 100%
With respect to Chloe and to potential howls of derision let me give a perspective anonymously.
Having people in your life who have depression and anxiety doesnt mean you know whats good for them.
I have it. I have been bipolar all my life as a result of trauma. You dont catch these things.
I carved a swathe of carnage, hurt and lies through the recklessness that mental health can cause.
It was my behaviour..however altered and endowed, that was to blame.
Ultimately i had to take personal responsibility to seek help myselfand get better, get medicated (which isnt always great) and confront it.
RUOK is great…but for someone who isnt ok..it can be confronting shaming and marginalizing.
We dont need to normalise mental health. We need to let people handle it their own way. Not trivialize it. Not intervene as helpful amateurs.
It is very very personal. It is very very sensitive. And it is only my opinion, but it is something that should be quietly acknowledged by our society and “culture” but kept private.
Chloe your empathy to people you care about is the reason they are lucky to have your support.
But it is for them to solve. You can enable.
But it is for them to confront. And believe me it is fucking tough.
It is not for the workplace to reconcile. And not for you to either.
Sorry.
You’ve eloquently summed up the concern I have with R U OK day. The helpful, unqualified amateur, with the best of intentions – and the intrusive and shaming nature of being asked.
Thank you.
I agree about the intrusive nature but there’s no one size fits all for dealing with mental health. Not everyone gets to the point where they even realise they have a problem let alone identify a need for seeking help. R U OK has its issues but it may help some take that first step.
Thanks for writing this Chloe. I’m sure a lot of senior leaders get on board with initiatives such as R U OK but scoff at the idea of their staff taking a mental health day. They’re the same ones who still walk around the office at 7pm to check who is at their desk.
@ I Am Sorry: this is true to my experience as well.
I’ve sacrificed a lot over the years on the altar of mental health, and am grateful for the heartfelt support I’ve received. No buts.
I’ve learned that empathy is a double-edge sword. There is a very big difference between good intentions and the ability to make a difference.
The impression I get is that R U OK Day seems to be predicated on the belief that just talking about these problems makes it better.
As a friend posted yesterday, what happens on R U OK Day when someone says no? In my experience, in the vast majority of cases, seven shades of fuck-all happens. Which makes it worse. But the fact is, it’s not fair to expect it to be any different.
Even mental health professionals struggle mightily to make even a small dent in an individual’s very specific, very personal plight. Why should we think a casual acquaintance could do a better job?
Boot-strapping it is a way of life. A compassionate workplace helps, but it barely scratches the surface of the underlying issues. Umbrellas are pretty useless in a hurricane.
I’m sorry that you’ve had such a tough personal journey with mental health. I don’t think Chloe was suggesting that workplaces take responsibility for solving people’s mental health problems. She’s not even suggesting that workplaces go around asking ‘R U Ok?’
Instead she was suggesting that a workplace culture can help people feel empowered to look after themselves and have the time/space needed to deal with mental health issues.
Sadly the trolls on Mumbrella proclude me from giving my name, but I wish I’d worked with more people like you. Thanks for writing this. And keep caring for the people around you, you seem a good person.
Thank you Chloe, for having the courage and vulnerability to share this incredibly important message. I couldn’t agree with it more! Let’s have leaders LEAD by example and put into practice the CARE that companies claim to offer their staff.
I once worked at an agency that had sold to a holding company and were heading towards a multiples payout. Subsequently, they chose to be ridiculously under-resourced and pitched for anything and everything. It was quite normal to be working until 10pm overnight and at least one day of the weekend (actually, inside the office on some Saturdays, you could swear it was Monday, judging by the amount of people working).
You know what their solution was?- to provide people with a brochure and phone number to support services.
They didn’t want to address the actual problem of running an under-resourced, mismanaged business. Unfortunately, a hell of a lot of agencies run on this faulty business model.
And agencies wonder why nobody wants to work in them anymore. Really?
Firstly Chloe good for you for having the guts to do what you did. To all other contributors and their respective commentary good for you all, for taking the time to write. No one is right or wrong on society’s greatest health challenge, because that’s what it is. 1 in 4 from teen upwards suffers from a form of mental health challenges. Note teen upwards.
Mental health does not discriminate on age, sex, wealth or poverty, colour of skin insert words here. As a sufferer for way too many decades to count do yourself a favour and go to you tube and search black dog institute. There is a simple video that explains at least the surface. Don’t google do i suffer from mental illness so take affirmative action and seek professional help from a qualified practitioner.