Got a book in you?
From journos to ad execs and PRs, these days everyone seems to have a book in them. But what does it take to get published and will you actually make any money? In a feature that first appeared in Encore, Brooke Hemphill finds out.
Attention wannabe authors. Forget big fat advance cheques and living off royalties. The reality of having a book published today is another story altogether. There are only two reasons you should even consider sitting down at your computer to bash out a manuscript – passion or profile.
Benython Oldfield, a literary agent with Zeitgeist Media Group, says: “If you are interested in writing a non-fiction book, you do it for credibility reasons or for passion because the amount of money that’s possible is negligible in an Australian context.”
Oldfield, who works with published authors including John Barron and Benjamin Law, is keen to lay out the bare facts about financial gains from publishing. He explains that writers make 10 per cent of the retail sale of their books, so if the cover price is $34.95, you’ll pocket less than $3.50 per sale. If you consider that successful Australian non-fiction titles sell 10,000 copies at most, the year you’re likely to spend slaving over your keyboard is going to net you an entry-level salary – if you’re lucky. And don’t think the rise of ebooks will save you. Oldfield says you’re even worse off financially from digital sales with authors taking home 25 per cent of the cover price, which in most cases is significantly lower than the cost of a hardcover book – think somewhere in the vicinity of $2.50 per sale.
Why do journalists have this compelling need to write “humorous” books about becoming parents? Why do they, as a sub-group, have so much trouble coming to grips with infant children unlike, say, plumbers or lawyers? Yeah, kids poo, piss and throw-up, what were they expecting?
Paul Merrill says he wanted to “reduce his negative profile” that he’d received while editing ZOO Weekly; which he did by writing a book about ZOO Weekly. That seems an odd way of going about things.
There is an old saying. Inside every PR and journo there is a really bad book trying to get out.
It’s so true. I’m writing one right now, though I hope it’s not bad. The publishing industry is fascinating. I’ll be “buy my book” when it comes out next year, hopefully at an airport bookshop near you! Seriously, it’s a hard slog and I’m not as disciplined as I need to be.
If that book about Zoo sold more than 15 copies I’ll buy everyone a beer….
I have written several books, five film scripts, A young person’s introduction to opera, 25 television plays, a musical, a volume of poetry and 50+ short stories.
I don’t know how much trouble I would have with a publisher, I have never been able to get anyone to read them, let alone consider them for publication.
I have found that television submissions and film production company submissions are, if they are answered at all, often met with a phone call or an email from an unknown person who asks questions about finite points and motivations beyond comprehension, before disappearing for ever.
I am staggered when ever I see the statement displayed by so many production companies and publishers. “WE DO NOT ACCEPT UNSOLICITED SCRIPTS” sometimes accompanied by dreadful threats warning of their intent to destroy any unsolicited manuscript or submission arriving at their hallowed postal address.
I would have thought that if anyone was about to accept unsolicited scripts, it would be a person or an organisation reliant upon new ideas and stories.
I sometimes imagine another Angela Carter or new age Shakespeare being refused on the grounds of not having been solicited.
There are so many parasites and crooks involved in the publishing business that it is no wonder that there are bad novels, penny dreadfuls and pulp compendiums flooding the market place. Then again, I imagine that there must be a sea of crap upon which to float the magnificent vessels.
I managed to get a top literary agent in L.A. for my scriptwriting.
But haven’t yet managed to get one in Sydney. Agents really are fuckwits here in Australia.