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Legally enforced pseudo-apologies from public figures are common enough: the mock sorrow for “any offence caused”, the breezily worded commitment to “setting the record straight” etc. But Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have gone in for the high-risk strategy of recording an elaborately deadpan spoof apology whose purpose is to satirise the very people they’ve been forced to placate.

The result is very bizarre and uncomfortable: Russell Brand brought off this kind of pseudo-apology a bit more successfully when he released a quasi-mea culpa online after the Andrew Sachs affair with a picture of Stalin in the background.’